Role Reversal Cont. W2D5

A Resolution to be Champion Biblical Femininity

Day 5

Role Reversal Continued.

Women have taken over the authority of men; men have passively neglected their roles as leaders. The result has been broken families, unstable homes, unhealthy dynamics, and derailed legacies. Marriages have cratered.

Only by surrendering to God’s design for womanhood will we as women experience the liberation we are trying so desperately to recover elsewhere.

What reasons do you think woman are so leery about submitting? 

Those loss of power or control. 

The stronger; more ambitious, and more independently capable you are; the more inclined you may be to shudder at the thought of submission.

Define submission in your own words. Pg. 46

descion to yield to people, precepts, and principles that have been placed in our lives as authorities. 

Some have abused it. So have misapplied the concept, allowing husbands to be domineering and their wives doormats. 

Have you been treated as a doormat in the past? 

I have been used many times, but I have allowed it so that is my fault. 

Not all leaders live their responsibilities well. Perhaps, if you’re married, your husband doesn’t.

Is there someone close to you that is not doing their best, and in turn is effecting you and your family?

All of my sbilings. The constant fighting challenging each other and using each other is hurting our family. 

Your husband, like any leader in God’s created order, will be held accountable for how wisely, how carefully, how devotedly, how biblically he has handled his role. 

So will you!

How content are you with the work you are doing in your God assigned role?

hmmm I feel I am on the right track. Staying in the Word, showing my children by example how to be a good person and love God. 

This is certainly not to say that you must submit to anyone who leads you into sin or is abusive toward you. If you are married where your conscience and physical safety are under threat, the duty of submission doe not call you to endure any demand without question.

Are you offended at the thought of yielding to the authority of another?

When they are “unworthy” I do have that problem. Especially with my bosses in the past. 

The Balancing Point

The Resolution for Women: Priscilla Shirer

Last post we read about the need to give to gain, the post before that we learned that we need to be satisfied with what we have, and the first post we learned that every moment should have meaning and should be enjoyed.  Now we talk about the balancing point. How do we balance all of life’s wants and needs? Some may feel like living satisifed with what God has already given is like admitting defeat, or a life of mediocrity. Being satisfied does not mean we do not hope for more. Contentment is the balance between the enjoyment of life now and the anticipation of what is to come. Being content keeps you from being controlled by your desires. What God has bestowed now is worthy of gratitude and appreciation, not merely because it is enough but because it is good.

Making this resolution of contentment will offer you an opportunity to look forward to tomorrow with peace and ease and an appropriate level of anticipation instead of the frustration and hurriedness that often comes with looking into the future. We do not need to sacrifice today’s blessings because of un-contentment or trying to rush our future gifts. Fully enjoy the things you have, the person you are, and the life you’re currently living with you strive to move forward with your dreams and future.

If you are single you need to take hold of everything you can do more easily when you are single. Traveling just as an example is so much more possible when you do not have the responsibilities of our spouse and children. Going to college or mission trips. There is so much more to do in this season of singleness that God has planned for you! Take the awesomeness of each season and run with it! You will have the young married life where you to get to know each other do not rush through this enjoy it!  Them the season of children which is amazing until you have gone through the previous season you may have not been ready! Then your children grow and leave the house, your time with your husband to grow old and see your grandchildren or possibly travel again! So many wonderful possibilities is we were just content with each season; content with the now.

It’s a balance. A holy equilibrium.

Contentment is not complacency. We just do not allow these issues to take away our joy. There is always going to be something in every season that will make you upset. You can still have contentment even with these every day irritations.

That’s a safe, healthy place when contentment allows you to take root and take up residence. Instead of being manipulated by unrestrained discontent, instead of allowing restlessness to hustle you into decisions, relationships, and opportunities that you’re unable to recognize as being faulty from the outset, contentment keeps your mine clear.

I do solemnly resolve to embrace my current season of life and will maximize my time in it.. I will resist the urge to hurry through or circumvent any portion of my journey but will live with a spirit of contentment. 

See all The Chapters 

The Resolution Revolution

What would happen if the men and women of this generation fully resolved and committed themselves to live for what matters most? Women who reflect their full purpose and potiental. Women who embrace life with joy and fulfillment and are know for being faithful in each area of their lives. Women who understand that this involves discipline and self-sacrfifce, but that it can happen as they allow the Word of God to nurture them and the Spirit of God to take control of them and have His way.

This bible study will both stir and challenge you. Fasten your seat belt! God’s about to go to work – Alex & Stephen Kendrick

The Resolution Revolution

Resolution

• the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
• the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.

How many resolutions have we made over the years and actually kept? The biggest ones; loosing weight, saving money, or eating healthier. Fail enough times, and you don’t feel like trying again. Yet still every year we say our new years resolution again… mine always being loose weight! So important to me but never can get accomplished; why is that!?

If we think about it we make resolutions every single day. We choose to treat people a certain way, to stay committed to certain activities, to live a certain life, to be a certain kind of person, or not a certain kind of person. Ether way, you’ve made a decision.  These resolutions determine the life we end up living.  So when we make our next resolution be intentional about it!

1. This Resolution is with God.
2. This Resolution will impact the people you love.

This resolution is powered by the power of the Holy Spirit! Although the choices you make will impact others, you in no way have the right to blame or be frustrated in other people’s direction. This is about what you will do, what you will become by God’s grace from this day forward. This is the Resolution for one woman; YOU.

By no means are you promising to be perfect, rather you are making a commitment simple to begin 0 to journey forward in the direction that particular resolution is pointing you.  – Priscilla Shirer

Here are the 13 Resolutions.

The more you grow the more His power is able to flow through you, satisfying your heart and transforming your world. So no matter if you feel you do great in this area or that; push through to improve!

See All The Chapters 

Why do we need discipline?

Get your kids to mind, without loosing yours!

How do you parent? How did you parents parent you?

We need to give them what they need not what they want. It’s our job to be their parents, but that includes a well balance between love and disciple.

1. The Permissive Parent. The upper left quadrant represents parents who are high in love but low in discipline: the permissive parent. The study revealed that permissive parents tend to produce children with very low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority. Though the parents express a lot of love, the lack of boundaries leaves their children with a high level of insecurity. The kids feel loved, but they are never sure of their limits. Their parents are generally fearful, afraid of messing up and damaging their chil­dren’s psyche, so they never set firm boundaries. The kids feel very loved and very unsure of themselves.

2. The Neglectful Parent. The lower left quadrant belongs to the worst of all four combinations: the neglectful parent. This kind of parent doesn’t express much love and also doesn’t really care enough to discipline. Their children tend to grow up with little or no lasting relationship with Mom or Dad. They’re estranged because they feel forsaken. The parents’ neglect may not neces­sarily be intentional — they may simply be in the midst of their own traumas and chaos, like an addiction or an abusive situa­tion. They don’t purposely desire to neglect their kids, but they don’t know how to deal with their own issues adequately and don’t have the tools to be healthy parents. These children grow up with unbelievably deep emotional scars, and their only hope is to find Christ, be surrounded by godly role models, and get some good Christian counseling.

3. The Authoritarian Parent. The authoritarian parent shows up in the lower right quadrant. This kind of parent doesn’t express love and affection well but is very high on discipline. They raise children who are provoked to rebellion. The bar is always high and the “musts” are always abundant, so there’s a strong sense of safety. But this kind of parent isn’t content just to win the war; they have to win every battle too. Communication between parent and child takes the form of arguing and fighting, espe­cially when the child is old enough to fight back. Authoritarian parents squeeze their kids until the kids can’t wait to leave home, and as soon as they do, they rebel. When Paul told the Ephesians not to overcorrect their children and exasperate them, he was warning authoritarians not to raise children who would reject the faith altogether.

4. The Authoritative Parent. Those who land in the upper right quadrant provide the best combination of love and discipline. This kind of parent is authoritative — not an overbearing authoritarian, but a compassionate yet firm authority. They have clear boundaries but are also very loving. Everyone knows who the boss is, but there’s also a connection between parents and child, a consideration that respects and honors who the child is while not compromising his or her disciplinary needs. The result is a child high in self-esteem and equipped with good coping skills.

This secular sociological study found that the parent who balances love and discipline, without compromising either, produces well-adjusted kids who maintain a positive relationship with Mom and Dad. This research, the best available today, affirms parents who express love well and maintain a high degree of control in their home.

All of us want to be in quadrant four, and probably most of us think we are. But before we move on to our biblical case study, consider these questions: Where do you tend to err? If you had to pick a quadrant other than number four to represent your worst moments as a parent, which would it be? Make a mental note of your answer; it will help you later when we look at our parenting through new lenses.

Case Study #2 – Jewish Christians AD 66-70

4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

6 because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” 7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?

8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:4-11 (NIV)

Summary = Discipline is teaching obedience to God and His Word through consistent consequences (actions) and clear instructions (words) in an atmosphere of love.

• The necessity of discipline = To deter DESTRUCTION. v. 4
• The means of discipline = The ACTIONS and WORDS. v. 5
• The motive in discipline = To express LOVE. v. 6-9
• The goal of discipline = To teach OBEDIENCE. v. 9
• The result of discipline = Short term PAIN and long term GAIN. v. 10-11

How to raise positive kids in a negative world Session 1 * Session 1:2
Building relationships that bond  * Session 2
How to Develop Your Child’s Full Potential * Session 3 * Session 3:2
God’s Process for Teaching Obedience  *  Session 4
How to Discipline Your Child Effectively  * Session 5
Punishment Versus Discipline  * Session 6 
Words that Discipline
Five Smooth Stones for Parenting
When all else fails.

“The Resolution”

Chapter 15: The FOO Fandango

Creating Healthy Boundaries with Your Extended Families.

Susie talked about how everyone loves ballroom dancing, she thinks an even more alluring dance is a dance performed by married couples. She relates this dance to being played out in the context off extended family relationships. I thought to myself…what??

Author Martha Beck identified as the FOO (Family Of Origin) Fandango. The FOO Fandango is determined by how a person’s family of origin has impacted his or her life and continues to impact his or her current non-FOO personal relationships.

We need to understand our FOO history because it affects how we operate in our current family setting. The fact is that much of our current behavior has been influenced by an early childhood desire to fit in. As children, we attempted to fall into step with our family around us, which in essence created a behavior dance that we brought into our adult lives.

Chapter 14: Catering to the Kids.

Catering to the Kids

Keeping the Little Ones From Taking Too Big a Space.

What we do for our kids.

There is nothing wrong, in fact it is very good that we tend on our children when they need us. As moms we feel that is EVERY second of the day… how could they not need us, we need them!! Or at least I do… Susie wrote on how she was trying to finish this book but the end of the year and very close to deadline, her son called to check in from college…. she said he sounded strange. He called way earlier than he was usually up, she was right he was sick and vomiting.  HEaring his tired voice made her feel disheartened. And to top it off it was his birthday!! Being a mother we imagine him sad, sick, and alone in his dorm room on his birthday and it tears our hearts up. She decided to drive out to see him… wouldn’t you?!!? He was only two hours away! She had to finish her work.. but her “baby” needed her!! Doesn’t every mom feel this!? Of course her son says mom I am ok I will call you if I need anything.

So Susie settled back into working determined to make her deadline. But of course her son was on her min. “He may call back!” So she got some coffee and kept the phone close by trying to work. She heard someone coming in through the garage… wasn’t expecting anyone…  It was her husband stopping by for a little husband and wife time!  Susie thought to herself how selfish! doesn’t her know how much I have on my plate!?  She felt the irritation and anger; then remember she was “on call” for her sick 20 year old baby.   Through these quick moments she realized how quickly and carelessly she had put her child’s needs over those of her husband.

Chapter 11: Languishing Lovers

Languishing Lovers

When an Uninspiring Marriage Might Signal a Needed Career Change.

In the intro to this chapter Susie talks about a Forbes.com article saying not to marry a career woman; than she will more likely grow dissatisfied with her husband…..Dual career or not, I think many wives struggle with growing dissatisfied with their husbands.  Some may feel the love is lost from their marriage. Sometimes love seems to have grown cold. – or wives get bored or distracted – and many lose the passionate affection that they once felt their husbands. Although a career girl is not necessarily more likely; a career can get in the way of loving a man; but so can the kids, the house, and a crazy schedule!

Friend or Parent!?

http://www.modernmom.com/blogs/kidsafe-foundation-sally-cherie/mom-are-you-my-friend  I read this artical about this mom who asked a group of woman do they want to be their kids friend or parent.

” I believe that a parent is there to protect, guide and teach. They should model good decision-making, model kind behavior, keep the family safe, and provide consistency in a child’s life so a child can feel safe and comfortable, and best able to handle life’s challenges along the way. A parent should also be the one person that a child feels he can talk to about anything, while at the same time being the person who sets the rules, boundaries and expectations for behaviors.”

I feel this is how God is to us!! People want that friendly relationship with Him as some want from their parents to do as they wish, but come to Him with problems that He will solve. That is not how parenting works ! Anyone who has children should know that in order to raise a well rounded young adult we must instill these morals and rules into our children at a very young age. If they don’t know what is right or wrong how will they make the choice when we are not around?? It could be as serious as a drug choice…… you allow them to live life, try new things, be adventurous….. so in my teenager mind that would mean well as long as I don’t do a bunch mom said to try new things is good!! Kids take bits and pieces of what you say to make what they are doing “right” and when you confront them they will have nothing but excuses. We need to allow them to live life, try new things, and be adventurous; BUT we also need them to know exactly what we and God expect from them.  They will make mistakes, but we can pray they are small ones because they know right from wrong. 

Prov. 19:18 TLB says:  Discipline your son in his early years while there is hope.  If you don’t, you will ruin his life.

So how should we deal with this parenting business?!

1. Be consistent: If you say you will do something DO IT!! The kids will learn quick that you will cave and use it against you.

2. Be calm: Some may want our children to fear us, but I do not! I want them to possibly fear letting me down…. but not be afraid to come to me when in trouble. So if we always yell they will feel that is all we will ever do.

3. Correct: Do not just yell or say what they did wrong. We also need to help them understand it, show them what they should do instead. They need to be trained just as learning to ride a bike, they will learn much faster if you are there holding the handlebars.

4. Covenant: Establish a loving covenant with your child so that your discipline happens within the context of relationship not legalism.

Remember, parental discipline done right takes both time and effort.  Parents who rush through parenting raise children who run away from responsibility and maturity.  Scripture instructs us:  He who receives correction is prudent.  (Psalm 15:5)