Fight Fair! #1

A Game Without Rules

Conflict is a part of the true game of Life, and refusing to play is simply not an option. Differences in personality and temperament, multiple time demands, limited resources, and the sheer insanity of modern life all conspire to create disagreements between partners. In marriage, conflict simple can’t be avoided; the goal, then, is to learn to play the game as pleasantly and productivity as possible.

In boxing there was finally rules put in place, and referee’s  so that the rules were followed. We are not so lucky to have referees to supervise our personal conflicts, we have to serve as our own referees. We have to set a set of rules, but success in conflict requires more than a set of rules. It depends even more on the attitudes you bring to the game: humility, generosity gentleness, and a genuine desire to work things out.  If you want to be stubborn or punish your mate, you will. and nothing can change that but you.

Where conflicts Come from

Probably not where you think. Most couples tend to put the blame for conflicts on topics of disagreements.

• Finances
• parenting decisions
• in-law relationships
• sex
• power and authority
• work demands
• scheduling and priorities
• use of leisure time
• personal habits
• household responsibilities

Most couples have found out that the heated disagreement can erupt over the most mundane and unexpected topics.

Much is written today about uninvolved parents, passive husbands, and irresponsible wives. But there’s another problem that challenges marriage today…. the exact opposite. They put their kids first, job first the church first – they put everything first ahead of their own marriage,

When you and your mate take time to be together, when you make a practice of encouraging and supporting each other, there is a confidence in the relationship that forms a buffer  against misunderstanding and miscommunication.

• I’m confident of your love for me, even if you haven’t told me lately.
• I know your trying even when it doesn’t show.
• i know you mean well, even when it comes out wrong.
• I think the best of you, even when you fail.
• I trust you, even when I’m not there.

When you firmly believe – when you really feel 0 that your mate loves, values, and respects you, its easier to overlook the minor over sights and annoyances that dot the landscape of married life.

When there isn’t time or energy to discuss your hurts and misunderstandings, a sense of hopelessness begins to grow. It’s easier to simply withdraw. It takes time, energy, and patience to learn what makes your mate feel loved and encouraged.

 

Clouds of confusion

1. The “What happened” Conversation. Who said what, and who did what? Who’s right, who meant what, and who’s to blame?

2. The feelings Conversation: Are my feelings valid? Appropriate? What do I do about the other person’s feelings? What if he is angry or hurt?

3. The Identity Conversation: Am I competent or incompetent? Am I a good person or bad? Am I worthy of love or unloveable.

We argue about the facts, but we oddest seem to get anywhere; thats because the disagreement isn’t really about facts at all but about the hurt feelings underneath.

Love & Respect: Ineffective Approaches

Love & Respect

by: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Why do we hear more about love in marriage than respect?

Research shows that women are more expressive in marriage. In this culture, a love dominated society, a woman tends to talk far more about her need for love than her husband talks about his need for respect. We need to think biblically not just culturally. Though Paul penned the Love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) and Peter walked with the Lord of Love for three years, nether command a wife to agape love. (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33) Both Peter and Paul reveal that the secret for a wife is to show unconditional respect. (1 Peter 3:1-2) Unconditional respect is as powerful to a husband as unconditional love is to a wife. This truth needs to be put back on the marital radar screen.

The misunderstanding about respect

We all need love and respect. This is a continuum. A wife, though leans toward love and a husband toward respect.

Isnt it agreed that love is the more important ingredient and respect is only marginal?

What one deeply believes will affect the way one interprets life. Her pink lenses see love and his blue lenses see respect. Not wrong, just different. A wise person sees the differences.

Don’t some wives feel uncomfortable showing respect to a husband?

Some contend showing respect males a husband superior and a wife inferior.

The Bible is clear; in the eyes of God a husband and wife are equal. As for a wife’s feelings of discomfort, a wife need not feel respect in order to show respect. And, showing respect does not mean giving a husband license to do whatever he desires. Peter, who teaches unconditional respect, watched the wife of Ananias – her name was Sapphira — drop dead because she went along with her husband in lying to God (Acts 5:1-11) A wife needs to respectfully take a stand.

“My spouse must move first!” If each obstinately refuses to budge until the other changes will the crazy cycle ever end?!

What if a husband doesn’t deserve respect?

Hosea the prophet was to win his adulterous wife by loving her. She was not lovable, nor deserving. But she needed love that only her husband could give. Peter instructs wives to win a disobedient husband through respectful behavior. A disobedient husband is not respectful and DOES NOT DESERVE respect. But such a husband, like all husbands, needs respect that only his wife could give. However, the culture teaches that respect must be earned and whereas love is to be unconditional. Further, the culture has given a wife license to express,  “I love him, but don’t respect him.” However this is equal to a husband saying “I respect her, but do not love her.”

I am sure no woman would want to hear that… I could see the fight now. “If you don’t love me why are you with me?!!!!”

We tend to get too defensive and thereby become offensive. Even if you are trying to offend your spouse you are coming across as offensive because you are offended.

 

Are you saying he needs  unconditional respect equal to her need for unconditional love?

Like needing oxygen, she needs unconditional love and he needs unconditional respect.

How do I get my spouse to meet my needs?

She thinks her acts of love and respectful. He thinks his acts of respect are loving.

Ignorantly she said,. “You don’t deserve my respect.”

Ignorantly he said, “I don’t know if I ever loved you.”

Proverbs 12:18

There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword,
But the tongue of the wise brings healing.

They don’t really mean these things they just don’t understand love and respect and how important they are to one another.

If goodwill exists, then most conflict is due to a misunderstanding of each spouse’s core value.

During moments of craziness, a wise person does not impugn motives. We two people give the benefit of teh doubt to the other, trusting each other’s good will wonderful things can happen.

God designed marital conflict

Paul wrote if two people marry they have not sinned but they will have trouble (1 Corinthians 7:28) God predicts trouble. God designed conflict and with that comes trouble and growth. No marriage is 100% perfect; this is an unrealistic expectation and in turn can poison the marriage.

When we feel ourselves getting angry at our spouse remember your spouse doesn’t make you mad. What happens during a fight and the phone rings… you hear the wife pick the phone up calmly and speak, put it down and continue fighting. We can make that choice to not be angry.

Love empowers a husband to energize his wife.

Respect empowers a wife to energize a husband.

The problems are not the problem the root issue is an unloving and disrespectful attitude.

What is a major mistake couples make?

That he can be unloving to get respect and she can be disrespectful to get love.

This will NEVER work. You will be boarding that crazy cycle.  You will not get love by being disrespectful to your husband you will get stonewalled and he will shut down.

1. The Crazy Cycle
2. The Energizing Cycle
3. The Reward Cycle

Where would you like to be?

 

Waiting for them to change?

 

As I am shampooing the carpet after a toddlers accident I was thinking to myself about a friend of mine who was complaining about her husband not changing. How she thought he would grow out of these actions. Got me to thinking….. when we get married do we overlook the stuff that annoys us and think of I can change that… I can train him… once we have kids he will settle down……. Would we still get married knowing for certain that this is how they would be for the rest of our marriage??

Need a little Peace and Quiet

This calling of being a wife is perhaps the tallest over of all. We need help in this role. We need direction. And like always, God’s Word is the best place to get it.

Admittedly, when we open the Bible looking for specific ways to handle personal situations in our marriage, we may not always find the answers spelled out with step-by-step clarity.

That’s a job for the Holy Spirit.

Peter’s first letter is one place where we get a huge hint on what loving and honoring our husbands is supposed to look like.

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,² when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands,

Gentle and Quiet

When you imagine this kind of girl what do you think of? Pricilla picture house on the prairie. Some may think weak…I think it takes a deal more strength to hold back comments than to belittle or bash your husband.  It takes much strength to obey God rather than fall in line with the worlds view of a wife. We are always striving to keep our youth, look good to “keep our husbands” if we only knew that a gentle and quiet way about us can go so much farther.

Gentle: In the Greek language of the Bible, this is the work praus, meaning not to be overly impressed with oneself, to be humble, considerate, and meek.

Simply put: We are to be kind to our husbands; the same way we want them to be kind to us.

Quiet: In the Greek language of the Bible, the word is hesychois,  to be well ordered, to lead a peaceful and discreet life, this lightening the task of the one in authority.

Perhaps you already make a habit of doing these types of things, then you are ahead of the game. If you are not its not too late. Make a point of watching him over the next week to find out what he really likes – little things you may have overlooked – and determine how you could make little changes that would speak kindness to him in those areas. Imagine how many things we do for him that he really doesn’t care about. If we get to know him and what he cares about we can find a way to connect in a deeper way.

If we funnel our wifely behavior and responses through these biblical filters, we will intentionally become more careful to see things from our husbands perspective. We will attempt to make things easier for him. Tempering our words and actions with peace and discreetness, causing him to feel more confident.

We must approach our marriage, asking ourself how we can be a “load-lifter” and a “burden lightener” instead of a needy woman looking to be served, coddled, and made content by her man. According to Peter, this gentle, quiet  lifestyle has enough power to transform a husbands eternal destiny, to win him over to Christ without having to say a word, just by noticing the way we operate.

If these behaviors of ours have the capabilities of doing all that, then surely they’re strong enough to deal with the day-to-day issues that can cause our marriage such grief.

There’s real power in gentleness and quietness. 

Begin this resolution by asking your husband what honor look like to him and what causes him to be dishonored. You may be surprised by his answer.

FULFILLING MY HUSBAND 

I will be faithful to my husband and honor him in my conduct and conversations in order to bring glory to the name of the Lord. I will aspire to be suitable partner for him to help him reach his God-given potential

_____________________________________________

Marriage Proposal * Hopes and Fears – Fear of Inadequacy, *  Hopes and Fears 2 * Need a little Peace and Quiet?

A Resolution to be the kind of woman who truly blesses her man

If you would like to do the study of questions I have complied. You can see the list here

Hopes and Fears 2

Fear of inadequacy

Men, honestly, even with all their complexities, are really very basic and uncomplicated. Our cutting, nagging comments can wound them deeply, especially when the disapproval builds up over time. Yet equally powerful are our simple and honest compliments that can make our husbands feel like a million bucks. Not a patronizing compliment like I tend to do, but a deep, truly sincere compliment can make or break your husbands manhood.

Selfishly I feel, he never compliments me, I work all day clean the house, cook dinner.. blah blah blah and on and on. We have all said this at one time or another. Only be truthful. If you look you should be able to find something to compliment them for with ease. It pays for us to choose wisely what we say and how we choose to say it. And to whom we say it. Our husbands should never be worried on if we are bashing them while laughing in a circle of our peers. He should have confidence and trust that his wife is esteeming him to others.

Even if your husband has proven he’s not worthy of your trust you can resolve to affirm your husband and to promise that your trust in him is not gone forever. Even if your relationship needs help he needs to know that your heart’s desire is to reestablish confidence in him.

Fear of being controlled

Males and females have equal value, but we are not the same. Your standards and opinions are different from his, perhaps in many areas of potential arguments. This doesnt mean he is wrong, just different. If you try to control him and force him into your thinking, you will break something that probably doesn’t need fixing, just understanding and valuing.

By trying to control them we cause them to shut down. How many times have you tried to “tell” them the way it “should” be done; causing them to ignore you ? If we want our husbands to be the leaders in the home, we need to stop taking the lead or telling them they are doing it wrong. We are supermoms but we cannot do it all! We will become overwhelmed, frustrated, and upset because we are bearing the burden that we took from him; that was intended for him in the first place. In giving him the control he may relinquish some responsibilities that he sees you do better anyways, but it will be his idea.

A man who feels controlled by his wife loses much of his desire for being tender toward a woman who sounds, acts, and treats him more like his mother. When you start nagging, picture him seeing you as his mom…. curlers and all! I don’t know about you but being his mother is not my dream of how our marriage would turn out. Backing off your husband helps him feel more confident, more fulfilled. Resulting in a man who loves being around you, enjoys long talks with you, and remembers how to romance you.

Genesis 2:18

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁸ The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

We have a responsibility as their wives to help them realize that with God’s help he can be proficient, honorable, trustworthy, and fully capable of becoming the man God intends him to be despite his fears. Let him be your man. There is nothing more attractive than a man who actually feels like one. Take it one day at a time…..

• Do not correct him
• Do not offer any unsolicited advice.
• Do not criticized his choices.
• Go to the restaurant he wants.
• Let the kids wear the clothes he picked out for them to put on.
• Use the driving directions he got online.

I know it make take every ounce of emotional restraint available to you, but pray for God to keep pouring in some more. And He will. The victory will be worth all the discomfort on your part. Your husband won’t feel belittled or drained dry by your comments, suggestions, and commands. He wont feel estranged and distant from you. You’ll be on the path to winning him back by making him feel honored and respected.

Marriage Proposal * Hopes and Fears – Fear of Inadequacy, *  Hopes and Fears 2 * Need a little Peace and Quiet?

A Resolution to be the kind of woman who truly blesses her man

If you would like to do the study of questions I have complied. You can see the list here

Hope and Fears

This whole topic of fulfilling your husband contains more layers than we will ever know! Your husband could probably tell you many things that would help him feel more secure, loved, and fulfilled. Maybe this is a perfect time to talk to him about it. If you have a husband like mine, who never wants to talk about his feelings, good luck! Although we know he is full of emotional and physical needs that if he would just tell us what makes him happy it would sure make this process less painful. Miss Kay Arthur said that men; particularly husbands; possess two great fears

1. the fear of being found inadequate
2. the fear of being controlled by a woman

As I typed those I cringed… how many times have I seen myself trying to control the situation or tell him how he should feel and in turn he probably feels inadequate because his way of coping is not good enough for me.

These fears scare me if we look at them in our direction; who wants to feel inadequate or controlled? Your man wants to be your hero. A hero to his children! He wants to feel like he is worthwhile to you and needed by you. He desires more than anything to see a look of love and admiration in your eyes. He wants to know that you celebrate him, depend on him, feel privileged to be married to him, and expect great things from him.

It’s OK.

Take a deep breath!

I know that being a wife is no easy job and these men and can be on our last nerve. They don’t get their dirty clothes in the basket, they expect dinner when they get home, for laundry to magically always be clean, for us to praise them when they do not us.

You may be one of those lucky woman with the perfect husband, just ignore my jealousy!  Or if this sounds outright infuriating to you based on the track record he’s shown you so far; I believe it’s something we need to all hear. Pricilla says, like a stained carpet, these stains do not come out on their own. This resolution should give us the courage to bring out that spray bottle and scrub brush and get to work doing something that may just lift some of the deepest, most ground-in dirt from our hearts and our marriage. And even if not everything comes out and cleans up the way we’d hoped., we’ll be honoring the Lord by honoring His Word, and His purposes for our lives and for this vital relationship.

This chapter is HUGE! I am going to stop it here for today and pick up with what these two fears have to do with us.

Fulfilling My Husband

Marriage Proposal * Hopes and Fears – Fear of Inadequacy, *  Hopes and Fears 2 * Need a little Peace and Quiet?

A Resolution to be the kind of woman who truly blesses her man

If you would like to do the study of questions I have complied. You can see the list here

Role Reversal W2D4

A Resolution to be Champion Biblical Femininity

Day 4

Role Reversal

Football players demonstrate more strength and athleticism in one afternoon of work than most of us could work up in a lifetime. Yet as formidable as these guys are; they are not the most powerful people on the field. The referees; usually being much smaller, cause these burly men to follow their instructions.

They choose to submit. Imagine how difficult and unmanageable the game would become if they didn’t. 

Human relationships are not designed to be a raw contest of power and strength but rather a self-controlled acceptance of clearly outlines roles.

Is there someone in your life that you feel you constantly compete against or vise versa? Why do you that is?

My sister. She feels she has to be better than everyone and throw it in our faces. I feel she gets everything easily given to her and does not work for it, care about how she gets it, or is even thankful she has it. 

_Submission_ is where everyone finds ultimate freedom. (pg 43)

Read the following Scriptures and see which ones apply to you most.

• The employee, whether male or female, must submit to his or her employer.(Colossians 3:22)
• The citizen, whether male or female, must submit to the governmental authority. (1 Peter 2:13)
• The believer, whether male of female, must submit to spiritual authority ( 1 Peter 5:5)
• And, yes, the wife must submit to the leadership of her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-23)

No doubt you are powerful and capable in your own right, perhaps even more capable and competent than some of those to whom you are called to submit. Yet all of that strength coursing through your nature and personality will only thrive and be its best as your yield to the legitimate authority established by God. 

Is there, or has there been people in your life that you feel had no right to be submitted to? They had not proven worthy of your submission…

I have felt that way about my husband, and previous bosses. 

Refusing to stay in our assigned lane, swerving into a driving position we are not designed to occupy, will always lead to dissatisfaction.

Is there something in your life you took charge to get and now that you have it, its not what you expected or wanted?

I am not sure, but probably so. I wanted to have a kid to make my significant other happy so I did at the age of 18 when i barely knew him and was no way ready. 

Order matters – whether we understand it or agree with it or even want it. Nothing can truly and ultimately be enjoyed when we are not willing to remain within our roles and boundaries.

Even the most powerful Man ever to walk the earth knew humility is necessary to achieve a much greater result.

Philippians 2:6-8 (NLT)

6 Though he was God,[a] he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.

7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges[b]; he took the humble position of a slave[c]
and was born as a human being.When he appeared in human form,[d]

8 he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

What excuse do we have for not choosing to do the same – to forgo our supposed rights in order to acquiesce to God’s designed plans for humanity? To trust His wisdom and insight? To bring Him to the most glory, whether we get our way or not?

Do you have a problem being humble? Could you give up all your privileges to be obedient to God?

I dont know. I would like to think I could…..I don’t give up my control issues or completely trust in Him yet so I am working on that.

It’s Good to Be a Girl W2D2

A Resolution to be Champion Biblical Femininity

Day 2

It’s Good to Be A Girl.

Can you list the first four books of the New Testament without looking?

A news program recently reported that agnostics know as much or more about God as religious people do. What about our knowledge and understanding of the biblical definition of womanhood?

The only possible way for us to live out and champion our Christian faith as women in a culture flooded  with feministic ideals is if we are aware of what this faith entails, if we are aware of God’s intention in creating us.

Why were we created in your words?

In Genesis when woman was created we were created to be mans partner. Maybe to be that other side of thinking to balance out man. 

What do you think the root of the feminist movement is?

Equality

This is specifically address in Scripture.

Genesis 1:27

New International Version (NIV)

27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

What do you get from this verse?

When God created mankind it was male and female, they were a them an it all together one. 

You, as a woman, are worth neither less nor more than your male counterparts. You are different, obviously, but only in function, not in value. 

What about being a woman; if anything, do you feel is less valued than men? and why do you think so?

Well woman always complain about being paid less than men. They say its a proven fact but I truthfully don’t know. If I gave the amount of work as the man physically and mentally I think they would be paid the same. Men and woman have different skills and parts to play. Some people see a woman who is a homemaker as being lazy and not a real job, when we work harder than most. Just because we are emotional beings doesn’t mean we can be take advantage of or that we are over reacting…. we are just reacting and God made us to. 

Can you find or think of a piece of scripture that counters this feeling?

Revelation 12:5 ESV

She gave birth to a male child, one who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron, but her child was caught up to God and to his throne,

What is more important of a job than bring the Messiah to earth through a virgins womb. Childbearing is a gift that God gave to us woman and without it there would be no more mankind. 

You are not only an equal partner in the created order, you have been called “good” by God Himself.  You are not  just good but NECESSARY!

Adam alone couldn’t accomplish the tasks assigned to mankind by the Creator. Man was in need of a partner. Without her, these endeavors would go undone.

So from the beginning, God placed a mark of importance on women. They were good because they bore His image and necessary in the achievement of His purposes on earth.

Where has God has placed you that the circle of people and circumstances are in need of you?

My children need me as a mom, my husband as a wife and to show Him God. My church members need me to watch over their children and my creativity and loyal dependability. 

Choose one of the many roles you currently play in your life, and record for each one how you are….

good for it; necessary to it; an important component of it; worthy to be part of it, and trustworthy to fulfill your role in it.

Biblical Femininity W2D1

A Resolution to be Champion Biblical Femininity

Day 1

Purposefully Feminine

Pretty in Print?

This battle has raged for centuries within the hearts of women; this includes Christian women. For while we may possess an appreciation for many of the rights and recognition’s that have been hard won by courageous women of years gone by, we want to balance it with our simultaneous desires to protect the holy definition of womanhood as its represented to us in God’s Word.

It is a commitment to honor the One who created us female.

What is your take on a biblically based femininity in a postfeminist culture?

I think woman now (not all but a lot and especially the ones making a stink) think that by giving the  power to the men we are in turn saying that we are weak and powerless. Woman that lean on God know that we are never powerless because we have HIM. I feel God uses our best attributes to support and lift eachother. I choose to stand behind my husband not because I am powerless, but because I have enough faith and power in the Lord and in my husband to trust him. Isn’t it more courageous to stand in faith,  then to rebel in fear?!?

A biblical belief system built on the husband’s leadership role and the wife’s position as a yielded partner. – Priscilla Shirer

How easily do you fit into this yielded partner? 

It’s probably harder than I realize. I could use some help on my talk backs and belittling that I do. Not sure if its the flesh in me saying hey you aren’t the boss of me!!! I feel I do a pretty good job and building him up most of the time and supporting his decisions. 

Some of these changes have led to the correction of legitimate injustices towards woman, but many have robbed our gender of much of the uniqueness we’ve been created to exhibit and experience. This independent, autonomous, self-centered has blown up so much that we are unaware of its harmful effect on our choices until we are dealing with the consequences. 

What kind of things do you think Priscilla is talking about here? How are we making this unbalanced?

From reading the book, I think she is talking about our softness. Our approachability. Our ability to compliment other woman just to be sweet, not to make them feel better than other people. I also see woman talking badly about men to other woman and that could cause problems in a marriage that shouldn’t be there. We are to build each other up and God does not want us separate from our spouse, so I see that as a sin. Like when one person gets divorced she likes company. 

A Christian woman – one who proudly wears the badge of womanhood given by her Father – must resolve to go against the tide. She must return to God’s design and definition for women and then joyfully embrace, accept, and experience it’s blessings.

How would you describe a Christian woman, to God’s design?

A woman who stands by her man, but knows that God is first and His will is to be followed. 

We are designed both strong and vulnerable. Powerful yet tender. More than able yet willing to yield. We are smart, wise, capable, equal in worth, and secure in ourselves. 

We are always in the spotlight.We need to either champion or demote the beauty of the biblical femininity.  We will cause our daughters ether to desire it or fight against it. We will encourage our sons either to appreciate it or to take advantage of it. 

How do you see yourself or others championing or demoting the biblical femininity? 

Giving the respect our husbands need and the children need to see us doing so they can also learn to do it. If they cant respect their worldly father how can they ever for their Heavenly Father? 

What kind of woman are you going to be? A woman who loves God first, husband second and is unshakable. 

How have you seen feminist ideals affect women in the way they….

• Dress?
• Act?
• Make decisions?

What biblical principles of womanhood strike you as stifling or repressive? Why do you think you feel that way ?

I am all good living the domestic life and quiet happy with it, IF I could trust my husband to pay the bills and not complain about I need a real job every time it gets rough. If he is just going to complain anyways why do I want to go through all the work of cleaning the house greeting him nicely making a yummy dinner? My opions are important to me and that is what gets me in trouble sometimes when I do not relay them in a respectful manner. 

The Balancing Point

The Resolution for Women: Priscilla Shirer

Last post we read about the need to give to gain, the post before that we learned that we need to be satisfied with what we have, and the first post we learned that every moment should have meaning and should be enjoyed.  Now we talk about the balancing point. How do we balance all of life’s wants and needs? Some may feel like living satisifed with what God has already given is like admitting defeat, or a life of mediocrity. Being satisfied does not mean we do not hope for more. Contentment is the balance between the enjoyment of life now and the anticipation of what is to come. Being content keeps you from being controlled by your desires. What God has bestowed now is worthy of gratitude and appreciation, not merely because it is enough but because it is good.

Making this resolution of contentment will offer you an opportunity to look forward to tomorrow with peace and ease and an appropriate level of anticipation instead of the frustration and hurriedness that often comes with looking into the future. We do not need to sacrifice today’s blessings because of un-contentment or trying to rush our future gifts. Fully enjoy the things you have, the person you are, and the life you’re currently living with you strive to move forward with your dreams and future.

If you are single you need to take hold of everything you can do more easily when you are single. Traveling just as an example is so much more possible when you do not have the responsibilities of our spouse and children. Going to college or mission trips. There is so much more to do in this season of singleness that God has planned for you! Take the awesomeness of each season and run with it! You will have the young married life where you to get to know each other do not rush through this enjoy it!  Them the season of children which is amazing until you have gone through the previous season you may have not been ready! Then your children grow and leave the house, your time with your husband to grow old and see your grandchildren or possibly travel again! So many wonderful possibilities is we were just content with each season; content with the now.

It’s a balance. A holy equilibrium.

Contentment is not complacency. We just do not allow these issues to take away our joy. There is always going to be something in every season that will make you upset. You can still have contentment even with these every day irritations.

That’s a safe, healthy place when contentment allows you to take root and take up residence. Instead of being manipulated by unrestrained discontent, instead of allowing restlessness to hustle you into decisions, relationships, and opportunities that you’re unable to recognize as being faulty from the outset, contentment keeps your mine clear.

I do solemnly resolve to embrace my current season of life and will maximize my time in it.. I will resist the urge to hurry through or circumvent any portion of my journey but will live with a spirit of contentment. 

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