Before Starting Over, Try This

Chapter 1 : One Flesh, are you sure?

Chapter 2: But Won’t That Hurt

Making Marriage Work by Joyce Meyer

Before Starting Over, Try This…

Philippians 4:6-7

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

If more people would actually pray for their relationships, they would see peaceful changes in their marriages. Spending all that time worrying about the problems is causing you to miss out on the peace God wants to share with you.

When we are frustrated in our marriage, we cannot just trade up for the new model! We can however ask God to change our spouses heart. Be specific in this request and you will begin to see change in them. Never give up on them through their struggles; keep praying. When things get worse it is the time to dig in deeper and be encouraged. This struggle does not mean your prayers are not working, but mean God is beginning to deal with them, and their flesh is getting upset.  With your prayers as an extra covering they’ll get through it. Too often we want that instantaneous success and immediate answers.

Matthew 7:8 promises a response if we keep praying.

For everyone who keeps on asking receives, and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, the door will be opened. 

When you are the one who needs to change and you finally realize this, some become angry. This process of changing can take as long as you need it to. God is in not hurry when it comes to working things out.  He knows that eternity outweighs the longevity of today. The happiness will be so complete that the process will no longer matter. God has something great in store for both partners of a marriage when He promised that they would become one.

Stand Firm

Many couples are giving up on their marriages because they do not know how to stand up against the enemies of marriage, of which pride and selfish self-centeredness are two of the worst. The church should demonstrate to the world what a godly marriage is supposed to be like, but instead we now have percentages of divorce among Christians so high that they barely differ from the world.

Because we live in a society that expects things instantaneously, most people want everything to good immediately. When that honeymoon phase ends and reality sets in some people bit off more than they think they can chew. We need to know heading into a marriage that there is a process to go through to become stable and that is working out each others issues together. Slow and solid. Fast and Fragile. 

If you look back when it appeared that God brought instant answers, you will find that someone had been praying and standing on their petitions for that miracle for a long time. We may see God’s answer manifest suddenly, but work had been going on behind the scenes.

Stay Focused on the Promise

God focus on the end result, not the process that we go through. Our hope is in His answer not in our trials or waiting period. As God changes parts of us, we will seem like a whole new person. The more we fall in love with Jesus, the more we want to obey Him. The more we obey the more we want to be involved with Him. The more involved the more we love Him and eager to obey Him.

We want peace and we find peace in Him.

Separate Your Who From Your Do

Joyce speaks about her root of rejection. This problem kept her from communicating with her husband. Whenever he had a different opinion that hers, she felt he was putting her down. In a marriage we both have the right to our own opinions, but with this deep rooted stronghold Joyce felt like he was rejecting her rather than just having another opinion.

God told her this; “You are reacting to him this way because he doesn’t agree with you and you feel he’s rejecting you. You are separating your who from your do. Dave loves you, but he doesn’t agree with you on this one point. And you have to let hi have his opinion.” This was a major turning point for her.

God wants spouses to work through the obstacles that separate them from each other.  Rebellion, fear, insecurity, and impatience keep us from the blessing God intended for a man and a woman to enjoy together.

Healing begins as we become obedient to what God says to do; love our spouses. Peace comes with trusting God first.

God Can Make All Things New

God is willing to take the messes we offer him and turn them into miracles. He has the ability to make all things new. God can give a tender heart to someone whose old heart was bruised and beaten with the hardness of life.

Ezekiel 36:26

²⁶ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

Also in 2 Corinthians 5:17. ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

God makes the past nonexistent as if it never happened so that we can face tomorrow without nagging memories from the past. He has bright and wonderful promises for our marriage if we trust Him and do what He tells us to do.

Next Chapter: A Man Shouldn’t Be Alone