Triumph or Tragedy

One Flesh… Are you sure?

Genesis 2:24

 ²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

 

Marriage is a promise to honor and cleave to each other for life! The book did not say until you are bored or find something better.

Let’s look at cleave; (v. i.) To fit; to be adapted; to assimilate.

This looks like more than just be together, to love one another, to respect each other. We need to adapt to one another and fit like puzzle pieces. You cannot depend on love to keep the marriage together, you need commitment. Commitment is the glue and love is the reward. Commitment to a promise bears the fruit of love.

Having God in your marriage can benefit in many ways. God shows us life principles that help us through many struggles.

Joyce spoke about her upbringing and like I have posted previously she had 15 years of sexual abuse from her father, then a bad marriage. SO when her now husband asked her to marry him after the fifth date; you know there was work to be done. Joyce had a negative outlook about everything. I see this in my husband. Joyce said it was difficult for her to belive that anything good would happen to her. So I guess leaving those walls up kept her from being hurt again.

Lucky for her God can see the end result; beyond who she was when her now husband met her. I often dream of the day where my husband and I are loving to each other without it being awkward. Where he can really truly believe I am not going to leave him. We may fight, but I will never give up on us. Joyce also spoke about being very insecure and  feeling as though everyone was inspecting her. I believe my husband and I both share this weakness. In Joyce’s case she would just act like she didn’t need anyone and that she didn’t care although of course she did. Because of this she wasn’t at peace with herself and this added another hurdle in their marriage. My husband does this. I also feel insecurity and that I have to be the best or they will see my faults and not like me. I am also too needy and thrive on people confirming my worth in what I do.

Emotional Manipulation

Joyce talks a lot about how her husband would watch sports on sunday and she would get all pissy and clean loudly around the house. Ever done that? Slamming cupboards… vacuuming around him running into his feet…. huffing and puffing the whole time so he knows you are mad. This is emotional manipulation. We are trying to get them to do what we want by acting like a child. Joyce said it never worked on her husband and that made her even more angry!  She said during this time she was not serving God, she was searching for ways to look important.

Instead of acting out for them to change; we need to change. Even if they do not change right away we need to continue to do the right thing expecting noting in return. We are honoring God and our promise in our marriage. Soon your husband will notice the change in you and most likely follow suit. Happiness doesn’t come from doing the right thing for the wrong reason. 

Here is a list of some things she listed that would be helpful:

• Do whats right whether he ever changes
• When you both have something planned and you really would like him to come with you. Ask them to go with you. Give them a choice without pressure. If he chooses not to, do not be mad.
• Be honest with your feelings without threatening each others security.
• So many people who believe in God, but live in sin. Christianity has to be walked out in a lifestyle.
• God’s blessings cannot be enjoyed with one worldly foot stuck in stubbornness, fear, and rebellion and the other foot trying to touch the kingdom.
• God’s blessings are not just for ourselves. When we do what is right, it affects the lives of others.
• God teaches us to adapt to each other and attend to each others needs.

Next Chapter: But Wont That Hurt?